Columbus and Other Cannibals

When Thom Hartmann used the word “wétiko” in the movie I Am, it blew right past me the first couple of times I watched the movie. Then I watched the movie a third time so I could slow it down to understand the word and try to get the reference. He was describing it as a disease, and mentioned that the first person to talk about it that way was Jack Forbes.

In the book Columbus and Other Cannibals, Forbes calls the wétiko (cannibal) psychosis the greatest epidemic sickness known to mankind. He says that greed and gluttony, along with the cruel using of others’ lives without remorse is destructive of one’s own spiritual potential. He says that most Native languages have no word for “religion” and that a word for religion may not be needed until a people no longer have it.

Religion is, in reality, living. Our religion is not what we profess, or what we say, or what we proclaim; our religion is what we do, what we desire, what we seek, what we dream about, what we fantasize, what we think—all of these things—twenty-four hours a day. One’s religion, then, is one’s life, not merely the ideal life but the life as it is actually lived.

The last two chapters of the book talk about how to reverse the disease and how to find a path with heart. For the antidote to wétiko, Forbes turns to Siddhartha Gautama Buddha. The Buddha taught more than 2,500 years ago that we can break away from this suffering by following an individual path wherein we steer clear of dogmatism, sectarianism, greed, and organized religion in the normal sense. Forbes gives us a criteria to use to evaluate whether a path might be one we might want to follow.

So the real test of a spiritual path is not to see how many monuments result, or how many converts are obtained, or how many prayers are repeated over and over again by imitative voices, but rather the test is: How do people who follow that path behave? How do they behave towards other humans? How do they behave towards the earth? How do they behave towards other living creatures? Are they doing evil? Are they free men and women who will stand up to evil? Or are they passive foot-soldiers trained to surrender their minds and hearts to their  masters?

For the month of February this year, we tried to practice the balance between humility and self-worth. The wétiko disease results in arrogance. The need to dominate others and the earth originate in feelings of unworthiness. The first time I read the book, I only remembered the part about arrogance. Knowing that you have intrinsic worth that no one can take away is a very powerful feeling.

The book concludes with a beautiful  poem called The Universe is Our Holy Book, which includes these lines

The Old Ones say
outward is inward to the heart
and inward is outward to the center
because
for us
there are no absolute boundaries
no borders
no environments
no outside
no inside
no dualisms
no single body
no non-body

We don’t stop at our eyes
We don’t begin at our skin
We don’t end at our smell
We don’t start at our sounds
I can lose my legs
and go on living
I can lose my eyes
and go on living
I can lose my ears
and go on living
I can lose my hair
my nose
my hands
my arms
and go on living
but if I lose the water
I die
If I lose the air
I die
If I lose the Sun
I die
If I lose the plants and animals
I die
For all of these things
are more a part of me
more essential to my being
than is that
which I call “my body.”

 He also repeats the Black Elk teaching that the Great Holy dwells at the center of the universe, and that this Sacred Center is within each of us as well.
May we use  our Sacred Center to find a good path, a path with heart.

The Heart Works Best in Mime

heart

Drawing from The Principles of Light and Color by Edwin D Babbitt, 1878

http://loveradiator.com/2011/07/15/the-book-of-awakening-having-the-life-you-want-by-being-present-to-the-life-you-have/

Words get in the way when we try to speak from the heart. How are we to know that the mere mention of the color purple conjures up childhood horrors for one person when it is one of our favorite colors?

We use our eyes to communicate emotions and feelings. They are less likely to lie, or unintentionally deceive.

Our brains think they know everything about sickness of the heart, as though it were just another machine pumping blood for us at our brains’ commands. But there is a mystery to the heart that can never be known by the mind. The heart works best by showing what it wants.

Planes, trains, and automobuses

We were eagerly looking forward to riding the Amtrack Empire Builder from Saint Paul, Minnesota to Portland, Oregon for the inaugural World Domination Summit. We had reserved a family sleeping compartment for the two of us  with windows on both sides of the train car, which would’ve saved us 4 nights in the hotel (two each way). I had packed my bags before leaving for work this morning, including post it notes we were planning to use to work on our elevator pitch during the 36 hour train ride. We were even looking forward to sampling the cuisine in the dining car.

Then this morning we found out that the train bridge in Minot, North Dakota is under water due to spring flooding caused by heavy rains. They are evacuating all 10,000 residents. The newly renovated train station is under water. Amtrack has another train, the SW Chief, that goes from Chicago to Los Angeles. But no availability until Friday. We wouldn’t get to Portland until Sunday.

Our remaining options were to drive or fly. Driving 1700 miles over three days is certainly doable, but then you have to turn around and drive back. For a weekend conference, it hardly makes sense. No post-it elevator pitch brainstorming. Lots of South Dakota and Montana. Too little Portland.

So we cashed in our train tickets and got on the first flight to Portland, with a short stop in Phoenix. We’ve already had a crash course in applying “Action Trumps Everything,” demonstrating flexibility and offsetting the disappointment of our imaginary train adventure with more time in Portland.

And if there was anyone from Minot who was planning to attend WDS, our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Cultivate Your Inner Hayseed

One of the most complicated and intelligent people I know chose hayseed as his screen name. It bothered him when people assumed that he was a bumpkin because he chose to live in the country. The meaning I think he identified with the most would be “A simple, unsophisticated person.”


Tom Kooy said it most eloquently:

A profound loss.  An amazing man—brilliant, versatile, a renaissance man of the highest order.  He was selfless, magnanimous, generous, and the true “salt of the earth”—Gary shared with all of us a wisdom, a work ethic, and a form of leadership and mentoring that has shaped each of our
lives.

I personally owe him so much…and his mentoring and advocacy continues, where I have been so rewarded by knowing Gary, and all he did for me and my career, as I have sought to pay forward that generosity to others along the way…giving others an opportunity to grow, to shine, and only because he did that for me.  That’s a true legacy.

Gary, you will be deeply missed!

When Gary hired me to work at the Bureau of Criminal Apprehension, one of the things he said that made a lasting impression was “When you go home at the end of the day, you’ll feel good about making a difference and making the world a better place.” That is a good day at work, indeed.

It Takes Lots of Practice

image

Dorothy Hopkirk Ackerman passed away March 10th. Her memorial service was held on March 19th. She was 91 when she died. She and Gene Ackerman had been married almost 70 years. One of the people who spoke at the service was a vibrant young black woman who had been one of Dorothy’s hospice workers. She stood up and described how Dorothy looked at Gene with such loving eyes, even when Gene was being difficult. She had asked Dorothy how she was able to do that, and Dorothy replied “It takes lots of practice.”

It’s easy to love someone when they’re being kind and generous, wooing you or otherwise making you feel like you’re the center of the universe. It’s much more difficult to love someone when they’re being mean, stubborn, attacking you or making you feel worthless.

Being a mother is great practice for learning how to love. My mother was 22 when I was born. She used to tell people it was like babysitting, except the parents never came home. That’s the problem—you need to already know how to love before you’re qualified for the job of parent. It is pretty easy to love a baby, especially when they smile at you and look at you like you are the most amazing person they have ever seen. Babies don’t know how to do anything other than look at people with love in their eyes.

It takes lots of practice to remember how to look at someone with love in your eyes when they’re being difficult.

Many Teachers, One Master

Teacher Disciple
There is a saying in India that a person can have many teachers, but only one master. Some of the common elements in this relationship include:

The establishment of a teacher/student relationship.

A formal recognition of this relationship, generally in a structured initiation ceremony where the guru accepts the initiate as a shishya and also accepts responsibility for the spiritual well-being and progress of the new shishya. Sometimes this initiation process includes the conveying of specific esoteric wisdom and/or meditation techniques.

Gurudakshina, where the shishya gives a gift to the guru as a token of gratitude, often the only monetary or otherwise fee that the student ever gives.

    Traditionally, in Chinese martial arts, sifu was used as a familial term and sign of respect as in the general usage.

    The term takes on a more intimate context when a student becomes a formal student or disciple of the teacher. The acceptance as a student is a very formal event, usually requiring a discipleship ceremony called bai shi. After the ceremony, the relationship is defined as a more direct parent/child context and usage takes on this term rather than a generic sign of respect for skill and knowledge.

    The Cantonese word sifu is translated into English as master. It can refer to either a master carpenter or a Master-Parent. The ambiguity arises when the Student chooses a Master who does not reciprocate the commitment. It can lead to disappointment and misunderstanding.

    To paraphrase the Grail Knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: one must choose, but choose wisely.

     

    Lou Bedor’s 10 Life Lessons

    Lou Bedor

    Last week I went to the funeral for Lou Bedor, father of my best friend Margaret. It was the best life celebration I’ve ever attended. One of the highlights was this top 10 list from the euology given by his youngest daughter Mary Ellen.

    As I wrote this eulogy I considered about talking about my Dad’s background – where he graduated from, his career information, his military background, etc., but as I thought about all those things – saying them just would not sufficiently honor my Dad. You see, all those things were just a means to an end for my Dad. My Dad was one of those really great guys – he was a great co-worker, husband, friend and Dad. A friend of mine described my Dad as “the salt of the earth” – a very humble, caring, unpretentious person. So in order to honor him in a way that I think is appropriate, I have decided to share Dads top 10 life lessons:

    • Number 10 lesson: Be charitable
      Dad led by example here. We grew up watching and participating with Dad as he set aside time to drive handicapped people to church, deliver meals for loaves and fishes, and meals on wheels and for other various charitable entities. He also was very active in his church by being involved on various committees, lecturing, and singing in the choir. He also made a point to set aside money – even though at times I am sure mom and Dad didn’t have a whole lot – to send to charities in need.
    • Number 9: Be competitive and be aggressive
      Some of you might think this is an unusual description of my Dad, but again, he led by example. Probably the place this came out the most in was in a good old-fashioned game of cards. Years ago, mom and Dad started the Friday night poker tradition, but one of the other games they played was a card game called 500. If you were Dad’s partner you can hear him saying now – “if you have one bower you bid 7, two you bid 8 and 3 bid 9! You have to count on the kitty and your partner’s cards!” He believed you had to play aggressively to win. Of course, Dad was always a gracious winner (a trait I have yet to master myself) and he certainly encouraged having fun in the process but make no mistake about it – Dad was out to win and so were we all! We will all fondly remember the numerous cribbage games we played with Dad and I am sure will carry on the tradition and hopefully all remember it’s OK to be competitive and aggressive as long as you are respectful in the process.
    • Life lesson number 8: Get your education – it is what will set you up in life
      Both mom and Dad were tireless in their encouragement of continued education. It was an expectation in our household that you worked hard in school. Dad felt strongly that education was the key long-term life success. Mom and Dad were very proud and celebrated the fact that all of their children attended college, many have advanced degrees, and all their grandchildren have attended college and many also have graduated. I had the chance to visit with my Dad a little over a week ago before he fell seriously ill, and the first conversation he had with me was about my children – he wanted to be sure they were all set up to finish their educations and he was particularly proud of the fact that my son Sasha had been awarded a sports scholarship and would be attending college next fall. You can hear him now as he asked me to remind Sasha to “get his grades up!” Sasha has assured him he will do just that.
    • Lesson Number 7: Have a sense of humor – don’t take yourself too seriously
      Dad had a tremendous sense of humor and was actually very funny. He could literally make us all laugh by a movement of an eyebrow. He wasn’t a story or a joke teller – he was clever and witty and often found laughter in tough situations. My sister Margaret shared a story recently that demonstrated his ability to find humor in frustration. As Dad’s body gave way and his eye site deteriorated, he would often find it difficult to find things – especially his watch and/or wallet. One night they were planning to go to dinner and could not find Dad’s watch. Dad was visibly upset and Margaret suggested they go to dinner and continue the search when they returned. At dinner, Dad pulled his sleeves up as he prepared to eat. On this now exposed forearm sat the watch they were looking for. Margaret gently pointed out the fact that the watch was on his arm and as Dad looked at it he said to Margaret “well Teresa said I’d find it sooner or later”. His sense of humor and ability to laugh at himself definitely made his later years in life much easier on him and those around him.
    • Lesson Number 6: Make time for yourself – it will allow you to be more present with others
      As a working parent with three children I now realize the importance of the example Dad set here. Dad through his whole life set aside time for himself. He sang in a singing group with his friends, he golfed, played tennis, and since 1958 went to Demontreville, a Jesuit retreat house– 37 times – for a full weekend for prayerful reflection. He knew you have to take care of yourselves to be effectively there to take care of others.
    • Lesson Number 5: Ask for what you want, you might just get it
      No one was more masterful at this than my Dad. He didn’t ask for much but was not afraid to let people know what he wanted and was the master of the art. He would start lobbying for what he wanted right after Christmas ended! For example, if he wanted any athletic equipment – he would start dropping hints to my brother John. I remember back in the early 80’s when the first oversized PRINCE tennis racket that back then was $200 – he dropped the hint to John. John just knew his next move was to figure out when Dad’s birthday or anniversary, or father’s day – whatever was the upcoming Dad to celebrate Dad was and let us all know he wanted this, how much to chip in, and it was taken care of. If it was a tennis related item it went to Teresa – Twins tickets – Susan – clothes – that went to me. He was very subtle in his approach but the life lesson is a good one. You can’t get what you don’t ask for – and the follow up to this is be appreciate of all you get and everything people do for you and Dad was certainly all of that. Everyone always wanted to do something for Dad.
    • Lesson Number 4: Be tolerant of others and if you don’t have something nice to say – don’t say anything at all
      I can honestly say I don’t recall ever hearing my Dad gossip or say anything bad about anyone. Expressions like “to each his own” come to mind when I think about Dad. He lived his life being very open-minded and even if he disagreed with someone’s point of view – he respected people for their opinions. He felt it was a waste energy to spend time talking poorly of other people.
    • Lesson number 3: Celebrate your children and grandchildren – brag about your children and grandchildren
      Family was Dad’s number 1 priority. There are so many things I love about my Dad – but one in particular is he had a great, loving relationship with everyone one of his kids and all his grandchildren. He celebrated all their accomplishments – professionally, academically, physically – and he not only celebrated them I have to say he was an out and out bragger! Being with family was always first and there are numerous stories of how he went out of his way to support his kids. And he was always there – not just to celebrate. If we needed help – we always knew we could call him. It didn’t matter if he was driving in the freezing cold to help you change a tire – getting up in the middle of the night to bring you another set of keys because you locked them in your car – heading over to help you kill a bat (or in Susan’s case to get a bird out of the house) – he was always there. If someone was in the hospital – you knew where Dad would be. He never made you feel ashamed for asking for help or that he as put out by helping you – in fact, quite the opposite. He was a wonderful, supportive loving father and grandfather and gave us all a great roadmap by which to parent our own children.
    • Lesson number 2 -Friends are family
      For Dad – family wasn’t limited to just “blood relatives”. Mom and Dad both treasured their friendships with the Bachs, Clemens, Hendricksons, Gleasons, Mary Jordon, the Howards, Pat Green, the Incarnation group, Dad’s IRS buddies – and passed along that wisdom to all of us. There are many people here today that I know if you asked them – they would say they are part of the Bedor family even if there is no formal relationship.
    • Lesson number 1: Believe in something greater than yourself – life’s journey will be very difficult and lonely if you don’t
      For Dad, that was a strong Catholic faith. To illustrate this point and in closing, I’d like to share a very personal story about a conversation I had with my Dad. As a parent, I can’t think of anything that could rock your faith more than dealing with the death of a child – regardless of the age of that child. A number of years ago I, myself, became seriously ill and dangerously close to losing my own life. After 5 long weeks in a hospital, it was actually my Dad who took me home that day. After we got settled, we sat down to talk as we had for every day the 5 weeks before – and I asked Dad a question that had been weighing heavy on my mind as I said “Dad – were you ever afraid I was going to die?” My Dad answered that question without skipping a beat as he replied “Afraid – no – scared perhaps – but not afraid – because I knew that if you died, you be with God, you’d be with your mother – that you’d be just fine and that I would see you again real soon”.

    Well Dad – anyone who knows you well – is very confident that today you are with God and you are indeed just fine. Say hi to mom, and thanks for reminding us – that as we all struggle to cope with your passing – that our time here on Earth is actually very short, and if we believe, – we are assured that we will all see you again, real soon.

    Work in the world lovingly

    There are so many opportunities to pay attention to the things that we don’t want, which ironically seem to bring more of those things.

    To work in the world lovingly means that we are defining what we will be for, rather than reacting to what we are against. –Christina Baldwin

    What if we spent more time and energy defining what we want more of? It probably won’t be a thinking exercise, at least not completely.

    Here’s Help for Honey Bees

    We are fortunate that the University of Minnesota has a honeybee research and outreach program, which has been operating since 1918. It is the only one of its kind in the Upper Midwest, the top honey-producing region in the United States. The department and innovative “Bee Lab”, which provides research and crucial assistance to professional and amateur beekeepers, is led by Marla Spivak. Doctor Spivak and her associate, Gary Reuter, also provide training each year to hundreds of newbie beekeepers, and we were happy to bee in their classes.

    What’s the (short)story on Colony Collapse? Here’s an article that includes a good “Q&A” about honey bees.

    And here’s a YouTube link.

    Dr. Marla Spivak just received a fellowship grant from the John D. & Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation for $500,000.

    Umstülpung

    Umstülpung is a German word that describes an inversion process where one thing ceases to exist in order to allow a new living field to manifest. The following exercise is from chapter 21, Principles and Practice, of Theory U:

    Review the current challenges in your life and work and how they resonate with your past journey. Do this as if you were looking down from above. If someone had designed your current challenges in order to teach you an important lesson that is connected to your forward journey, what would that lesson be? If someone had intentionally designed your past journey and current challenges to prepare you for your future work and life, what do you think might be the central theme of that future journey?

    What does it take to learn from the future as it emerges?