Columbus and Other Cannibals

When Thom Hartmann used the word “wétiko” in the movie I Am, it blew right past me the first couple of times I watched the movie. Then I watched the movie a third time so I could slow it down to understand the word and try to get the reference. He was describing it as a disease, and mentioned that the first person to talk about it that way was Jack Forbes.

In the book Columbus and Other Cannibals, Forbes calls the wétiko (cannibal) psychosis the greatest epidemic sickness known to mankind. He says that greed and gluttony, along with the cruel using of others’ lives without remorse is destructive of one’s own spiritual potential. He says that most Native languages have no word for “religion” and that a word for religion may not be needed until a people no longer have it.

Religion is, in reality, living. Our religion is not what we profess, or what we say, or what we proclaim; our religion is what we do, what we desire, what we seek, what we dream about, what we fantasize, what we think—all of these things—twenty-four hours a day. One’s religion, then, is one’s life, not merely the ideal life but the life as it is actually lived.

The last two chapters of the book talk about how to reverse the disease and how to find a path with heart. For the antidote to wétiko, Forbes turns to Siddhartha Gautama Buddha. The Buddha taught more than 2,500 years ago that we can break away from this suffering by following an individual path wherein we steer clear of dogmatism, sectarianism, greed, and organized religion in the normal sense. Forbes gives us a criteria to use to evaluate whether a path might be one we might want to follow.

So the real test of a spiritual path is not to see how many monuments result, or how many converts are obtained, or how many prayers are repeated over and over again by imitative voices, but rather the test is: How do people who follow that path behave? How do they behave towards other humans? How do they behave towards the earth? How do they behave towards other living creatures? Are they doing evil? Are they free men and women who will stand up to evil? Or are they passive foot-soldiers trained to surrender their minds and hearts to their  masters?

For the month of February this year, we tried to practice the balance between humility and self-worth. The wétiko disease results in arrogance. The need to dominate others and the earth originate in feelings of unworthiness. The first time I read the book, I only remembered the part about arrogance. Knowing that you have intrinsic worth that no one can take away is a very powerful feeling.

The book concludes with a beautiful  poem called The Universe is Our Holy Book, which includes these lines

The Old Ones say
outward is inward to the heart
and inward is outward to the center
because
for us
there are no absolute boundaries
no borders
no environments
no outside
no inside
no dualisms
no single body
no non-body

We don’t stop at our eyes
We don’t begin at our skin
We don’t end at our smell
We don’t start at our sounds
I can lose my legs
and go on living
I can lose my eyes
and go on living
I can lose my ears
and go on living
I can lose my hair
my nose
my hands
my arms
and go on living
but if I lose the water
I die
If I lose the air
I die
If I lose the Sun
I die
If I lose the plants and animals
I die
For all of these things
are more a part of me
more essential to my being
than is that
which I call “my body.”

 He also repeats the Black Elk teaching that the Great Holy dwells at the center of the universe, and that this Sacred Center is within each of us as well.
May we use  our Sacred Center to find a good path, a path with heart.

Triple Numbers in the Reality: Mystery School – Day 4(44)

Today while driving, I nearly got a DWD. Daydreaming While Driving.

Stuck in traffic on the way to work, I was robotically following the surge and slow of the traffic, thinking about what to do about my job. (which is OK, you know… helps to pay the bills without breaking my back. But, you know, couldn’t there be so much more?.?.?..)

And as I glanced down at the license plate of the SUV in front of me, I noticed the triple numbers: 333. Cool.Triple Threes!

The first we heard that triple numbers have meaning was from Drunvalo Melchizedek (Droon-vallo Mell-CHEESE-a-dek) in his 2007 book, Serpent of Light – Beyond 2012. He said:

When you see a triple number in the Reality, it has significance relative to what you are thinking or the environment around you. It has to do with music and the fact that all notes in an octave separate themselves by eleven cycles per second. Therefore, the separations of each note to each other are 11, 22, 33, 44, 55, 66, 77, 88, and 99 cycles per second, or multiples of these numbers, which presents a perfectly harmonic tuning or moment in time, since the entire Reality was created through the harmonics of music.

Therefore, when triple numbers or more appear in any manner, it physically represents a mathematical moment in time that contains the harmonics of the value of that number…

Quickly, these are the meanings of the triple numbers.

111 = Energy Flow: Any energy flow, such as electricity, money, water, sexual energy, etc.

222 = New Cycle: The beginning of a new cycle, the nature of which depends on the NEXT triple number you see.

333 = Decision: You have a decision to make. The decision will lead to either a 666, which means you must repeat the lesson again in some other way, or it will lead to 999, which is Completion and you have learned the lesson.

444 = The Mystery School: What is occurring in life is a lesson around the learning about the Reality. This school is learning, such as reading books or studying a subject, but not actual doing. [He says that Alice Bailey was the first to write about this number having that meaning.]

555 = Unity Consciousness: This is the number when someone has attained Unity Consciousness. They have mastered all levels of the Mystery School. It is the highest number. It is the number of Christ.

666 = Earth Consciousness: This is the number of the Beast in the Bible, so it can represent pure evil, but it is also the number of mankind and life. Carbon is the basis of life, and carbon has six protons, six neutrons, and six electrons. Generally when you see this number, it means to watch out for physical events that are presenting themselves at that moment, and you must be careful.

777 = The Mystery School: This is the part of the school where you are not just reading books about life, but are also practicing (what you are learning).

888 = Completion of a particular lesson within the Mystery School.

999 = Completion of a particular cycle of events.

000 = Has no value.

Takeaways:

  1. Triple Numbers are not only cool, but might be helpful to you somehow.
  2. Pay Attention. There are no coincidences, and everything that happens to you is all for YOU! (Even sharing it with others is for you, but of course it’s for them, too.)
  3. Do you have a decision to make, too??

Having an Existential Tantrum?

image In Letting Go, Harriet Brown writes about the meaning of forgiveness. Most people know that forgiving is good for you, but most people don’t know how to do it. Fred Luskin, who wrote Forgive for Good and has been studying forgiveness for 20 years, says there are only two steps in the process: grieving and letting go. Grieving is necessary if you have been wrongfully hurt by another. Luskin says that the process of forgiveness is to let go of anger and hurt by being mindful and focusing on gratitude and kindness. He says

Forgiveness concepts are simple. It’s the execution that’s hard.

Luskin provides 9 Steps to Forgiveness as a starting point.

Kathleen Lawler-Row, a psychology professor at East Carolina University, thinks that the benefits of forgiveness go beyond lowering blood pressure and improving sleep. She says that

once you forgive someone for something very painful, you never experience life the same way again. You’re more flexible, less black-and-white in your expectations of how life or other people will be. If there’s one thing that characterizes people who have experienced forgiveness, it’s that kind of larger perspective: I can’t predict what life will hand me, but I’m going to respond to it in this way.

The experts quoted in the article believe that forgiveness is a choice any of us can make at any time, no matter the content we’re wrestling with. Harriet is dealing with anger towards her mother, which is an ongoing situation rather than something that happened in the past and is over and done with. She asks Luskin “What if the person who hurt you in the past keeps hurting you over and over, in the present?” He interrupts her before she gets the last words out, saying that it’s not happening now, this second, and tells her to try again. So then she asks

How can you keep yourself safe with a difficult person?

He tells her that is the right question, because it gets rid of the blame and the enemy. He asks if she can follow through on her own suggestion with an open heart.

Forgiveness requires a conscious decision and you have to invite it in with an open heart.

Forgiveness as a Soup Question

tomato soup In the wonderful movie Finding Forrester, Jamal asks the recluse William Forrester why his tomato soup gets thick but the soup his mother made at home was always watery. The answer was

Probably because your mother was brought up in a house…
…that never wasted milk in soup.

Forrester then tells Jamal that

The object of a question is to obtain information that matters only to us.

August is Forgiveness month. Every day we practice an act of forgiving. August first I had something huge to work with, but by the second I was already out of ideas so I watched a documentary called The Power of Forgiveness. Afterwards, I checked out the website references they had listed in the film to get specific guidelines for forgiveness. The links were not very helpful, so that day I forgave them for having such lame links on forgiveness. It seemed like a cop out. I found the most helpful information on Zenhabits: How to Let Go and Forgive.

Yesterday I treated myself to watching Healing From Within, which is volume 3 of the Bill Moyers special on Healing and the Mind. That volume covers Eastern Meditation and Western Group Psychotherapy. The eastern meditation class taught people who couldn’t be helped by traditional medicine how to live with their condition in the present moment and the group psychotherapy involved women whose breast cancer had metastasized. The breast cancer patients who participated in the study lived twice as long as other women who received the exact same medical care but did not have the same support group. The doctor who led the support group made the observation that the women got the most out of it if they were willing to open up and share their emotions and feelings honestly with each other.

So now my criteria for forgiveness is letting go and forgiving something that matters to me.

Today I saw this wonderful quote from Marianne Williamson

The past doesn’t determine your future unless you carry it with you into the present. Forgiving yourself and others, you free the universe to begin again at any moment.

That is the real power of forgiveness.

The Essence of Place

image

One of the things I used to love about going to San Francisco on business was flying out Saturday night and buying a Sunday Chronicle newspaper. The Datebook pink section advertised special events. I could open up the paper, drink coffee, and plan out the day. It was totally spontaneous – what did I want to do today? No kids or anyone else to consult.

One Sunday morning there was going to be a talk given by an expert on virtual reality, which was a relatively new concept at the time. I went to the lecture, expecting to hear the latest technical details. The guy talked briefly about how they had experimented with taking movie cameras in cars and airplanes to record visual data. Then he spent the rest of the two hours talking about why that would never work.

He said that he had found it was impossible to capture the essence of a place digitally. Sure, you can capture snapshots of the visual and auditory environment. But that doesn’t tell you about what is important about that place or everything that is happening there, including smells and textures. Or the people. Or the sense of change that happens when the same place is different next time you go there.

Ever since that lecture, I have changed the way I visit places. Now I seek out what is special about that particular place at that particular time. The picture at the top of this post was taken in Portland at the Chinese Garden, Over 500 tons of rock was shipped from China for the garden, and 50 chinese workers spent 10 months putting every rock in place. I had worn my vibram shoes that day, so it was wonderful to feel the rocks beneath my feet. When I looked down and saw my toes on the rocks, it made me laugh because I felt my toes were in perfect harmony with the rocks.

Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are Running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer Disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from Being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don’t Know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased. I loved this!

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, ”Error – Program will not run on external components.” What should I do?

Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before We hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God .

Lou Bedor’s 10 Life Lessons

Lou Bedor

Last week I went to the funeral for Lou Bedor, father of my best friend Margaret. It was the best life celebration I’ve ever attended. One of the highlights was this top 10 list from the euology given by his youngest daughter Mary Ellen.

As I wrote this eulogy I considered about talking about my Dad’s background – where he graduated from, his career information, his military background, etc., but as I thought about all those things – saying them just would not sufficiently honor my Dad. You see, all those things were just a means to an end for my Dad. My Dad was one of those really great guys – he was a great co-worker, husband, friend and Dad. A friend of mine described my Dad as “the salt of the earth” – a very humble, caring, unpretentious person. So in order to honor him in a way that I think is appropriate, I have decided to share Dads top 10 life lessons:

  • Number 10 lesson: Be charitable
    Dad led by example here. We grew up watching and participating with Dad as he set aside time to drive handicapped people to church, deliver meals for loaves and fishes, and meals on wheels and for other various charitable entities. He also was very active in his church by being involved on various committees, lecturing, and singing in the choir. He also made a point to set aside money – even though at times I am sure mom and Dad didn’t have a whole lot – to send to charities in need.
  • Number 9: Be competitive and be aggressive
    Some of you might think this is an unusual description of my Dad, but again, he led by example. Probably the place this came out the most in was in a good old-fashioned game of cards. Years ago, mom and Dad started the Friday night poker tradition, but one of the other games they played was a card game called 500. If you were Dad’s partner you can hear him saying now – “if you have one bower you bid 7, two you bid 8 and 3 bid 9! You have to count on the kitty and your partner’s cards!” He believed you had to play aggressively to win. Of course, Dad was always a gracious winner (a trait I have yet to master myself) and he certainly encouraged having fun in the process but make no mistake about it – Dad was out to win and so were we all! We will all fondly remember the numerous cribbage games we played with Dad and I am sure will carry on the tradition and hopefully all remember it’s OK to be competitive and aggressive as long as you are respectful in the process.
  • Life lesson number 8: Get your education – it is what will set you up in life
    Both mom and Dad were tireless in their encouragement of continued education. It was an expectation in our household that you worked hard in school. Dad felt strongly that education was the key long-term life success. Mom and Dad were very proud and celebrated the fact that all of their children attended college, many have advanced degrees, and all their grandchildren have attended college and many also have graduated. I had the chance to visit with my Dad a little over a week ago before he fell seriously ill, and the first conversation he had with me was about my children – he wanted to be sure they were all set up to finish their educations and he was particularly proud of the fact that my son Sasha had been awarded a sports scholarship and would be attending college next fall. You can hear him now as he asked me to remind Sasha to “get his grades up!” Sasha has assured him he will do just that.
  • Lesson Number 7: Have a sense of humor – don’t take yourself too seriously
    Dad had a tremendous sense of humor and was actually very funny. He could literally make us all laugh by a movement of an eyebrow. He wasn’t a story or a joke teller – he was clever and witty and often found laughter in tough situations. My sister Margaret shared a story recently that demonstrated his ability to find humor in frustration. As Dad’s body gave way and his eye site deteriorated, he would often find it difficult to find things – especially his watch and/or wallet. One night they were planning to go to dinner and could not find Dad’s watch. Dad was visibly upset and Margaret suggested they go to dinner and continue the search when they returned. At dinner, Dad pulled his sleeves up as he prepared to eat. On this now exposed forearm sat the watch they were looking for. Margaret gently pointed out the fact that the watch was on his arm and as Dad looked at it he said to Margaret “well Teresa said I’d find it sooner or later”. His sense of humor and ability to laugh at himself definitely made his later years in life much easier on him and those around him.
  • Lesson Number 6: Make time for yourself – it will allow you to be more present with others
    As a working parent with three children I now realize the importance of the example Dad set here. Dad through his whole life set aside time for himself. He sang in a singing group with his friends, he golfed, played tennis, and since 1958 went to Demontreville, a Jesuit retreat house– 37 times – for a full weekend for prayerful reflection. He knew you have to take care of yourselves to be effectively there to take care of others.
  • Lesson Number 5: Ask for what you want, you might just get it
    No one was more masterful at this than my Dad. He didn’t ask for much but was not afraid to let people know what he wanted and was the master of the art. He would start lobbying for what he wanted right after Christmas ended! For example, if he wanted any athletic equipment – he would start dropping hints to my brother John. I remember back in the early 80’s when the first oversized PRINCE tennis racket that back then was $200 – he dropped the hint to John. John just knew his next move was to figure out when Dad’s birthday or anniversary, or father’s day – whatever was the upcoming Dad to celebrate Dad was and let us all know he wanted this, how much to chip in, and it was taken care of. If it was a tennis related item it went to Teresa – Twins tickets – Susan – clothes – that went to me. He was very subtle in his approach but the life lesson is a good one. You can’t get what you don’t ask for – and the follow up to this is be appreciate of all you get and everything people do for you and Dad was certainly all of that. Everyone always wanted to do something for Dad.
  • Lesson Number 4: Be tolerant of others and if you don’t have something nice to say – don’t say anything at all
    I can honestly say I don’t recall ever hearing my Dad gossip or say anything bad about anyone. Expressions like “to each his own” come to mind when I think about Dad. He lived his life being very open-minded and even if he disagreed with someone’s point of view – he respected people for their opinions. He felt it was a waste energy to spend time talking poorly of other people.
  • Lesson number 3: Celebrate your children and grandchildren – brag about your children and grandchildren
    Family was Dad’s number 1 priority. There are so many things I love about my Dad – but one in particular is he had a great, loving relationship with everyone one of his kids and all his grandchildren. He celebrated all their accomplishments – professionally, academically, physically – and he not only celebrated them I have to say he was an out and out bragger! Being with family was always first and there are numerous stories of how he went out of his way to support his kids. And he was always there – not just to celebrate. If we needed help – we always knew we could call him. It didn’t matter if he was driving in the freezing cold to help you change a tire – getting up in the middle of the night to bring you another set of keys because you locked them in your car – heading over to help you kill a bat (or in Susan’s case to get a bird out of the house) – he was always there. If someone was in the hospital – you knew where Dad would be. He never made you feel ashamed for asking for help or that he as put out by helping you – in fact, quite the opposite. He was a wonderful, supportive loving father and grandfather and gave us all a great roadmap by which to parent our own children.
  • Lesson number 2 -Friends are family
    For Dad – family wasn’t limited to just “blood relatives”. Mom and Dad both treasured their friendships with the Bachs, Clemens, Hendricksons, Gleasons, Mary Jordon, the Howards, Pat Green, the Incarnation group, Dad’s IRS buddies – and passed along that wisdom to all of us. There are many people here today that I know if you asked them – they would say they are part of the Bedor family even if there is no formal relationship.
  • Lesson number 1: Believe in something greater than yourself – life’s journey will be very difficult and lonely if you don’t
    For Dad, that was a strong Catholic faith. To illustrate this point and in closing, I’d like to share a very personal story about a conversation I had with my Dad. As a parent, I can’t think of anything that could rock your faith more than dealing with the death of a child – regardless of the age of that child. A number of years ago I, myself, became seriously ill and dangerously close to losing my own life. After 5 long weeks in a hospital, it was actually my Dad who took me home that day. After we got settled, we sat down to talk as we had for every day the 5 weeks before – and I asked Dad a question that had been weighing heavy on my mind as I said “Dad – were you ever afraid I was going to die?” My Dad answered that question without skipping a beat as he replied “Afraid – no – scared perhaps – but not afraid – because I knew that if you died, you be with God, you’d be with your mother – that you’d be just fine and that I would see you again real soon”.

Well Dad – anyone who knows you well – is very confident that today you are with God and you are indeed just fine. Say hi to mom, and thanks for reminding us – that as we all struggle to cope with your passing – that our time here on Earth is actually very short, and if we believe, – we are assured that we will all see you again, real soon.